Homeschool planning... and follow-through

We haven't even finished this year and already we're thinking about next year.

What will we do?
What is the best curriculum?
What is the best program?
Do we want to try to afford Christian school anytime soon?

And, the big question: What can Karen maintain through a whole year?

There is a high standard to which I am held, and quite frankly I fail miserably. I am confident that my children are intelligent (probably genius considering their dramatic survival of my lack of discipline), but the problem isn't good programs or workbooks, it's my ability to make sure school happens.

I don't expect a miracle of perfection.
I just want to keep up with things as I must if I'm not to fail my family and cause my children to live a miserable life marked by their inability to do what they should due to bad training.

So...

That's where I am. Even if I think I can do something next year, the past has proven that long-term discipline fails. I might do better, but history shows I won't.

I don't even know how to define the core problem in my character to begin facing it. Every day I think I'm trusting, turning, following, obeying... and every day I so clearly am not. Where is the growth? What is God doing in me?

I know my children shouldn't be in public school. Not here, anyway. This area is known for its poor discipline and nasty influences. Public school isn't happening.

Christian school is expensive, and while my kids might be able to handle school relatively well, there are areas where I'm sure they're behind their grade level... again, because they are harder for me to teach or the kid has a natural resistance to that subject, making it easier for me to get frustrated, give up, and decide to try again in a year to see if they are cognitively more developed. Actually, for the cost of private school, I could pay a tutor to come here and teach for several hours a day using the curriculum of my choice.

I'm just as frustrated with myself as anyone else is. *sigh* I handle my whole life wrong in this area of maintaining my schedule. If only there was a secret key to make me do it right! How can I repent of a vague feeling that I'm not doing the right thing? Which is the wrong, and why am I not noticing it and changing?

God help me.
The rest of you can pray.

Prayer request- From my brother in Indonesia

Earlier this afternoon (yesterday) a 9 year old daughter of a missionary couple with IMB here in Central Java died after falling into the river while following her mother home from school riding bicycles. Please pray for this family as this has got to be extremely difficult for them. The mother is taking it extremely hard and is feeling as if it were her fault. There isn’t much else that I can say except, please pray for them.

My Garden!

Uh, yeah, we still need to cut this up and burn what isn't salvagable.
We were gifted this pile by the previous owners.

Before and After--the kitchen!

The kitchen before demolition...
Lining up bead-board can be difficult in an old house that doesn't have straight walls, doors, ceilings...anything. FIL managed to make it look great!
After installing the new cabinets and priming... PINK!
The mostly final product! Lovely!
The fan from which the cabinet color was taken.
Where my spice rack will eventually go... it will be red, of course. Note the magnetic spice containers my cousin so kindly gave me! Don't they look great?
My tea and coffee cabinet. It will soon have shelving below the little counter also. Note the unfinished floor through the dining room door.

My camera has come back to life!

I'm so happy!

I just ran out and took tons of pictures. Once the kids rooms are clean (they are working on it) and my kitchen is clean (I am working on it) I'll take a bunch more and post my favorites... well, for those of you who are befriended on Facebook, you'll see the kids. The rest of you will get a before and after of my kitchen and a bunch of rabbit and garden pictures.

And, the camera story? I couldn't find anyone who would fix it for me, so rather than having a useless camera sitting around I decided to try and fix it myself. It worked. Except the protective lens that automatically closed is no longer attached to the camera. Maybe someone else can figure that out one day... I'm just happy it's taking pictures. Apparently it's not the worse for its trauma.

New household rule. No kids with camera, even if they plan to be very careful. I'd rather break it myself, thank you.

I laughed so hard...it would be a crime not to share...

What may not be too obvious is that you click on the picture to get to the funny cat video. Or maybe it is... though this picture is cute too...

I...have a column?

David did a search on my first and last name and came up with some pretty weird stuff. Makes me want to change my name!...not that I will, of course. But, just in case you're one of those name-searching people... and you happen to know who I am. I'm not the one promoting healing ones-self of psychological problems by tapping on emotion points (sounds like a twisted form of trigger points, which does help muscle problems...).

Taking a break

Well, it's lunchtime here. The kids are gladly avoiding the next bit of schoolwork, and I've finally updated the second to last bill to our new address.... I hope. There's one I can't seem to contact to save my life. *sigh*

In recent news, we are now a two rabbit family. David is a pushover for me with tiny bunnies and I'm a pushover for tiny bunnies. We should know better than to visit the pet store...

David decreed that our latest bit of fluff should have an impressive name, "like one of the Caesars or Warren Buffet." So, little Buffy Augustus enjoys a name big enough to rule the world and is completely sweet and lovable anyway. If only it were always so with such names...

It looks like we'll have the floor installed with our "economy improving tax return" I knew it was a good idea to have kids! LOL I'm still hoping we'll re-drywall the ceiling in the dining room, but we shall see. We've done nothing in there but clear it out and set up a table and chairs to eat on. It's not even painted!

David fell off the ladder painting last weekend. I came home from a quick grocery run to find him flat out on the hallway floor. It gave me a bit of a shock, but he swears that he's perfectly fine and his back hurts just about the same as usual. Considering I'm certain he knocked himself out, I'm just glad he's acting normal. I nearly called the ambulance, but he was awake enough not to allow it. Oh, well.

AND... that's all folks!

For now.

Present!

My dear cousin, L, was so kind as to send me a lovely set of the above tins, except they are a beautiful red (and I couldn't find a pic of red ones online). I am so happy! Unexpected and undeserved gifts are way better than birthdays and Christmas. Yay!

better now...

I'm so relieved to have improved. I'm absolutely sure it was all the prayers that did the most good... ok, so it wasn't your prayers that did the actual work (because that would be kinda magic-y somehow, I don't claim to understand how prayer works), but God has improved my condition immensely and you can know you participated in the grand plan.

Mom recommended a different allergy medication to take before bed, and I've slept well for the last couple nights. I'm no longer jittery, though my nerves are still telling me that my body doesn't like all I've done to it recently. In general, though, feeling is returning to my fingers, back and toes, and I no longer have the cotton-bound, distant sensation that plagued me over the last few weeks. If anyone knows of research on vitamins or veggies and fruits that specifically aide the nerves, I'd be interested in reading it.

My doctor concluded several years ago that my family (on dad's side) has Charcot-Marie-Tooth syndrome (a hereditary degenerating nerve thing, not severe, but annoying) and I'm noticing that the effects change with my health. And... oh, look! there's a blood-test for it now! I didn't want to go through any more annoying tests back then, because they stuck pins in me and tested to see how the electric current traveled. I decided I didn't want to go through more for an official diagnosis. I can handle a blood test, though. Shall have to mention this to my doctor.

Anyhow, I appreciate the kind notes and sympathy which have helped me through the emotional bit of feeling not-at-all-well. It's wonderful when people WISH they could come take care of me, even if they actually can't because they're too far away or pregnant or whatever. I love having friends and family like you guys!

And, in additional blessings... two friends came over and helped me plow through a bunch of boxes today. I really don't know why I have so much stuff. I shall have to make some trips to drop boxes-full off at Goodwill. However, it's been wonderful how many people have come alongside and compassionately helped with this whole move and renovation process. My church is awesome!... as in, the members really do their best to live Christ. I am so thankful for the chance to see Love shine through others. It's beautiful, and I only hope I will jump at the chance to shine in such a way.

Pray for me

Something is wrong. I'm not sure what, but the medications the doctor gave me are affecting my body in strange ways. I'm done with them all as of two days ago, but they are still in my system, affecting my ability to sleep, breathe, live... I cannot breathe deeply enough, nor think straight, nor fall asleep for longer than fifteen minutes at a time and I'm going insane! I have enough nervous energy to keep fifteen small children running, yet my whole body hurts so much.... I long to just rest and I can't, quite literally. There is not enough air, and it is, all of it, dry. I don't know what to do...